


your heart was glass, i dropped it

by galaxymindss



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Emotional Hurt, M/M, Marauders, Marriage Proposal, Self-Destruction, Sort Of, Taylor Swift - Freeform, champagne problems hours, its bittersweet ig? depends on how you look at it, no happy ending, sirius is self destructive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:35:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28478523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galaxymindss/pseuds/galaxymindss
Summary: "sometimes you just don't know the answer,till' someones on their knees and asks you,she would've made such a lovely bride,what a shame she's fucked in the head."- champagne problems
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks (mentioned), Sirius Black & James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 17





	your heart was glass, i dropped it

**Author's Note:**

> hello! i've been very obsessed with Taylor Swift's new album so ofc i had to write something for wolfstar with it ! there aren't any major trigger warnings for this fic, just a brief mention of a possible eating disorder, self-destructive tendencies, and mention of an unhealthy relationship (sirius' parents). anyway, I hope you enjoy this little thing i wrote at five am, and enjoy some angst !! kudos and comments make me vv happy btw ;)

Remus always had a reason for everything he did. He put two sugars in his tea because it was the perfect mix of being slightly bitter without being too sweet. He put his right sock on before his left because it felt more natural given that he was left-handed. He rubbed sunscreen into his skin every day because his freckles made him more prone to sunburns. And he pressed a kiss to every place of Sirius he possibly could because he was completely, overwhelmingly in love with him.

It only felt right that he would have a reason for the thick ring in his pocket, passed on through generations, and given that his father has passed years before, his mother felt he should have it. She had kissed his temple, swiped a thumb across his cheek and told him Sirius was perfect for him. He brought Sirius’ favorite champagne, Dom Pérignon, and ensured James, Lily, and Peter were there. He prepared some long-winded speech about love and all the typical things one would say to a partner of four years. So of course, he was confused when as he began his speech and lowered himself to one knee, ring in hand; Sirius stopped him.

Sirius closed Remus’ palm on the ring, his eyes watering and his hands shaking.

“Remus, no- I can't. I’m sorry- I just can't.” His voice was quiet, faltering with every word as he jabbed a dagger further into Remus’ heart with every syllable. What did he mean he  _ can't _ ?

“You can’t? Why?” Remus hated how pathetic he sounded. Sirius had a right to say no, but it was the  _ way _ he said it... _ He couldn't _ . Was Remus just that repulsive even Sirius couldn't imagine being with him for the rest of his life?

“I don't know. I just can't,” Sirius said, pulling away from Remus and casting his gaze to the ground. He tried his best to ignore the pitiful gazes his friends were sending Remus. Gazes that he was the cause of… “You deserve someone so much better, Re. I’m not the kind of person you marry. Hell, I don't think I’ll ever marry. It’s just- too much. I’m sorry.”

Remus was the one with reason lacing his every step, and naturally, Sirius was the opposite. He did things without thinking of the consequences, about all he might lose.

“I don't think you get to decide that for me,” Remus replied, not having the energy to drag himself from his kneeled position.

“Maybe not. But I can't fool myself anymore, I’m not and will never be somebody's husband. I’m sorry.” And with that, Sirius turned and left, leaving Remus crestfallen in the park they had met in years prior.

He ignored James’ calls, Remus’s frantic texts, Lily’s angrily worded emails, Peter’s Instagram comments. He couldn't do it. His parent's marriage was a fucking disaster, and Sirius was a product of it. He could never make Remus as happy as he deserved. He was nothing more than some schoolboy crush, and that’s all he would ever be.

But late at night, even months later, when sobs racked his body, the same body that had gotten thinner and slowly duller, he wished that he had said yes. But he knew Remus would find the real thing someday. Someone who wouldn't lie to their parents about their relationship. Who wouldn't be scared to be seen in public with him. 

And he pretended to not notice a year later when his cousin was wearing Remus’ ring,  _ his ring,  _ on her finger in her newest post captioned ‘I said yes!’. He double-tapped it, feeling his tears well up again. He would bet Remus had replaced his picture in his wallet with her, would bet she was sleeping on his side of the bed, would bet he was right. Remus could never truly love him, not in the way he thought he did. He would bet he was nothing but a mere memory in Remus’ mind, nothing but a fun story he’d tell at parties.

So after a year of no contact, after a year of avoiding everyone he used to hold so dearly, he pressed the dial button, his hands shaking almost as much as they had been that night, 

“James, I messed up.”


End file.
